From a happy go lucky super confidant person to someone who is second guessing everything they do and super nauseous around ppl.  Wanting to be the other person and wishing I did not feel like this.  It's been a long time coming to feel depressed I had almost forgotten what it feels like.  The thoughts still race.  The feeling of being on top of the world yes is much better than the alternative but without medication is it really.  Some like to chance it.  I say I am too scared of chancing it I have seen what the wake of not medication will do.  Although I feel like there is no creativity and though the thoughts are racing they are not so free flowing.  It seems to be a struggle to have a conversation and to write.  What I do know is that this too shall pass the way all other feelings do.  I want to hear what others have to say about there medications if you take them and if you take them do you stop and start them.  Do you feel like you could be better without them or do you feel you think you lose yourself in the medication or are you over medicated and feel like Dr. do not listen to you.  I really hate feeling nauseous.  I guess I am really looking for outside interest and help about what you think about the medications for Bipolar Illness.  Negativity is not usually my cup of tea and I feel like depression is not always negativity.  It is not something I have control over.  Just like other feelings it is just a feeling.  Just like happiness, joy, bewilderment, anxious, anger.  Like the Chicago weather if you don't like my mo wait 5 min it sill change.  This time I think its gonna be gloomy for a minute.  I sit here not contemplating going somewhere with friends. Not feeling like I want to but knowing I should.