energy

Is the energy we have over the top or just a normal spurt of energy?  How to determine the energy we have.  It is hard enough to weed through the feelings we have and how to manage them.  In the past few days I have painted half a room, read part of 2 books, seen 3 movies gone for a walk, gone for a 5 mile bike ride and who knows what else.  At the time it all seems normal to me but foe most this seems over the top this really was all in a day and a half.  What I look for is the other signs of mania the talking fast the talking over people, anger or rage spending sprees of which I have none.  So I call it being productive.  Having manic symptoms does not always have to be a bad thing if it is productive.  Mania is thought of as a negative but those negative energies if channeled the right way can turn into productive creative energy.  I do not believe that creativity is lost through medication.  I do believe that that it takes time to get that creativity back once on medication or the right regimen of medication.Tap into your energy and see what happens it can be just as exhilarating as it is when medicated.  This is one of the reasons that people who are medicated stay that was for years because they are afraid to loose themselves in the medication.  With a good doctor and therapist this does not need to happen.  Unfortunately advocating for yourself is the hard thing to do but do not stop fighting to get your message through to you doctor.  Energy is where I like to be.  Some of us live mostly in depression and that is a difficult place to be.  I am fortunate I live mostly in mania or mixed episodes.  But with the right doctors and the right balance even then you can be brought up to a normal energy level.  Sometimes it is hard to tell if you are reaching over the top energies.  There are tell tale signs of that you are tipping the scales.  Those signs that are classic seem to be talking fast, spending sprees, feeling overly sexed, and risk taking behavior.  Unfortunately until you have a good handle on you illness it is difficult to cut these off at the head.  I set up fail safes for myself so I know when I am getting out of hand, such as, letting friends know when to warn me I am talking fast because I can not always see it, also letting them know that they cna approach me with my behavior.  Be cause I am really good at manipulation or not listening I have them email me it is hard to ignore paper it is easy to talk over people.  So get to know you and what it feels like to be normal.  I also know if I am questioning myself I might be heading in the wrong direction.

Bipolar disorder is unlike any other mental illness I know.There are so many different variations of the disorder that it is impossible to list them all in the DSM IV(diagnostic and statistical manual of mental Illnesses) the diagnostic book used to diagnose mental illnesses the book at best gives a list of most symptoms. What is difficult is that most people do not go to the Dr. whan they are feeling good so people who meet the requirements for hypomania and not mania go undetected sometimes for years.  There are so many other symptoms that cross over into other disorders that the bipolar person can sometimes go misdiagnosed for years.  Putting a bipolar person on the wrong medication can have unfavorable effects at the least.  It is important when you go to the doctor to be completely honest with him.  No matter how small the symptom or insignificant you might think the issue is.  Had I known that a heightened sex drive was a symptom of bipolar I would have shared that with my doctor.  If someone had mentioned to me these things in the beginning it might not have taken over 15 years to diagnose me.  I had one psychiatrist many many years ago just tell me I had mood swings but put me on lithium.  I was you and did not know the questions to ask.  All the research I tried to do kept bringing me back to the same set of symptoms which did nothing to explain what I was going through. On the way to the hospital one time a very good friend of mine thought it would be a good idea to stop at the bookstore (what timing) I thought.  I was losing my mind and she wanted to stop at the book store.  The book she bought changed the way I thought about myself.  This has be come my bipolar bible.  The book is "An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Jamison.  This book changed my life.  I was able to identify with what she went through and not just be a symptom on a page in a book.  Though our stories are different I could see myself on the pages of her book and for this reason it is my bipolar bible.  If you have not read the book at least watch this video to see what it is about.  It truly a fantastic account of a bipolar life of a well known psychiatrist who has the disease herself.